Before when she saved Sam from permanent dying of his face, she remembered trying to shake him off. At that point in her life she was finally starting to get things right, the last thing she was looking for was a boyfriend. But maybe that’s why Sam stumbled in on her perfect plan. But she wouldn’t have had it any other way. Without Sam she wouldn’t have had the junior year that she did. Whenever she was with him it was great. That’s what scared her so much. Happiness was a rare thing for Quinn. So instead of getting hurt she would hurt everyone that ment something to her. But in return she probably only got hurt worse. Still at the end of the day she felt the same, maybe worse off. But she got the little satisifaction that she was in control.
Now she was taking control, she was being friendly. That’s what she did best, she kept people at arms length, friendly but not commited. As if she were the one that got hit by the slushie something hit her. This was her senior year, she had her whole life to be trying to figure out what she wanted. But in highschool she knew. She had spent too much time worrying and feeling sorry for herself, all she wanted now was to be happy and stop caring. There was so much she could have been worrying about, but now she could stop worrying and just act on what she felt. Her lips turned into a small, shy smile. “Pretty eyes.. How could I forget?”
“I feel like I should apologize again.” There was never enough apologizing. This was because even if everyone else forgave her, she still couldn’t forgive herself. Maybe that’s what came with time. But everyday it got a little easier because she was fixing everything. She was moving forward and not dwelling on the past anymore. But she couldn’t help to think about her and Sam’s past. “Do you think if I wouldn’t have gone all crazy we would still be together?” She questioned timidly. It was a question that had been on her mind since the day they came back to school but she was always too afraid to ask. Now she just had to know the answer.
“You don’t have anything to apologize for anything, Quinn.” Sam said shaking his head at her, a half smile on his face. He couldn’t ask her to apologize for who she was, after all they were only seventeen who had an accurate portrayal of themselves at seventeen. This was the time they were suppose to finding out who they really were and getting the crazy out of there system before ending the real world as adults. Sam would be lying if he said he was completely sure of who he was, and what he wanted to be. He had no clue about the future, if you would have asked him a few months ago were he saw himself in ten years, he would have said somewhere on a beach happy with Quinn, now he had no clue. His college applications scattered the states unable to make a solid choice, it’d be a miracle if he got into any. Quinn had been his one sure thing entering this summer, the one thing that he thought he’d always have. It was silly to think that what they had was bigger than some high school relationship.
Quinn was always there for him, last year when things got hard she was the one person he could count on, this summer he found out that he wasn’t that person for her. Maybe she needed the space to figure out, what she wanted, but he knew he’d always choose her. He was pretty dependent on her; it was probably for the better that they ended things when they did. He’d always wonder what if, what if it hadn’t ended during the summer, what if they stuck it out during their senior year… There were various answers, he liked to live in a fantasy were after their senior year he’d follow her wherever, maybe not the same school but one in the general area. They’d graduate, get good jobs, get married and live happily ever after. It was a long shot, but he was a boy who tended to live in his own alternate world. He didn’t want to wonder what if forever, high school relationships were supposed to be things you forgot. He supposed maybe someday he’d forget how her nose scrunched when she laughed, the way her eyes always gave away how she was really feeling, how the moment she entered a room his heartbeat picked up, he’d forget the way she said his name, and all the little things that made him love her in the first place. He was kidding himself if he thought he’d ever forget. Quinn was a lot of his firsts; His first real girlfriend, first time, and the first girl he ever really loved. He couldn’t just forget that.
He frowned at her question, most of his free thoughts wandered there. “I think,” He said biting down on his bottom lip trying to carefully choose his words. “You going ‘crazy’ had nothing to do with it” he said using air quotes on the word crazy. “It was matter of you letting people in, and you pushed me away. So maybe if you didn’t push me away yeah, we would have still been together.” He shrugged, “but you can’t be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t trust you right?” It wasn’t even the kind of trust most people fought about. People generally fought about trust with infidelity, they’d been down that road before, but Sam would trust her with anything. He’d always thought they were on the same page, but apparently she didn’t trust him enough to explain to him what was going on in that crazy blonde head of hers. “So, I guess to answer your question, yes I do.”
If you asked Quinn what she was thinking about any day, an hour, an second, there was a good chance you would get Sam Evans as an answer. Maybe that was weird or creepy even but it was the truth. Everytime she heard a Colby Calliat or Jason Mraz song on the radio she could barely contain sobs. Everytime she saw anything remotly having to do with Avatar she had the same reaction. One night the kids she baby sat for wanted to watch it and she had to leave the room. It was a movie about blue freaky giants and she could barely breath when she thought of it. Everything that reminded her of Sam only made her sad.
Mostly, she was sad about how badly she screwed up. How badly she had hurt him. Because whenever she looked at him she wanted to tell him how much she loved him, but then she thought better of it. She thought of how she broke up with him, for no good reason, but still it made sense in her head, sort of. Sometimes it made total sense, she didn’t want to hurt him. But that was bull shit. She didn’t want to get hurt. So she changed, sought attention. If only she knew then what she knew now. That Sam would have stayed with her, and fixed her. Why she broke, she had no idea. Maybe it was a final straw to get all of the crazy out. It didn’t matter since she was fine now. But she still got a series of scared glances when she walked through the hall way. She could live without that everyday.
Today something was weird in the hallways. Everything was silent, this was a usual sign of a slushy attack, although Quinn hadn’t seen anyone get slushied in a while, not since Karofsky let. The Glee club was accepted now, well as accepted as a bunch of outcasts could be. This is why what she saw awaiting her around the corner shocked her. She knew the blonde hair even though it was slicked back, and now covered in a red slushie. Do I just leave him there? God no. She raced to him hesitating only for a second before wrapping a hand around his arm and tugging him towards the nearest girls bathroom. Once she made it she opened the door checking to see if it was empty and led Sam in, locking the door behind her.
“Are you okay?” She grabbed paper towels and ran them under the sink before bringing them to Sam’s face wiping the red away from his eyes. This brought her back to when he stole her heart. He was so dorky and lovable and Quinn nearly died when he said ‘Lor Menari’. Ever since then her heart melted with every dorky word Sam said. She rolled her eyes at the thought but couldn’t help but smile. “I thought the slushy facials were a thing in the past.” She was almost finished wiping off the red. “At least red is a good color on you. Although i’m sure you much rather would have prefered being an Avatar.” A familiar laugh played in her throat. It felt so natural. Everything with Sam always felt that way.
Everything happened for a reason, and maybe by her pulling him into the bathroom for a second time it was fates way of telling him that this was now or never. Admittedly it was hard at first to just be her friend, but being her friend was better than not having her in his life at all. They kept trying and failing at this whole relationship thing, two failed relationships later and she still made his heart skip a beat when she walked in the room. Last year, was a little crazy with all the Finn drama and the break up, but in the end they found their way back together. Then came summer, which started off well for the two, only somewhere along the line things fell apart again and she drifted away. There would always be a spot in his heart for her regardless. She was a lot of firsts for him; First time, first love, first real girlfriend. A person just didn’t forget that.
He didn’t look to see who was guiding him, he didn’t need to. The moment he felt her hand close around his arm he knew it was her. Hit with déjà vu, A small laugh escaped his lips when as they entered the bathroom. “Fine, a little disappointed actually.” He said trying to keep things light between them. He would have told her the reason for his disappointment, but she beat him two it. “I’m glad you think red a nice color, but I actually prefer nothing on me.” He said a blush creeping to his cheeks when he realized that could be taken a different way than intended. “I mean, no slushie.” He said quickly correcting his previous sentence. “blue would have been nice though.” He said once she had finished cleaning up the mess, he ran his fingers through his hair a few times trying to give it some sort of shape instead of crazy.
Of course he was thinking about the last time they were in here. How he’d really looked into her eyes for the first time, and Quinn Fabray went from being that girl on the cheerios and glee to that girl he needed to know. Looking into her eyes this time, she was Quinn Fabray the girl he use to know, and the girl he would do anything to know again. “Lor Menari.” He said like the time before smiling as he turned his back on the sink leaning his palms against it. “Do you remember the last time we were in here?”
Love at first site was something strictly reserved for Movies, and Romance novels no one in their right mind would believe in something as delusional. Sam was no expectation, he was a typical teenage boy, closeted hopeless romantic but even he didn’t believe in the whole ‘love at first site’ deal. Love was something that took time and effort, a bond built between two people. Love was not something you just determined on first glance. He’d been a firm believer of that until the day he met Quinn Fabray. He’d never be able to forget the first day he’d officially met her, yes she looked nice bobbing around in the courtyard singing to along to Empire State of Mind, but that wasn’t their ‘official’ first meeting.
Finn had somehow convinced him to join glee club, it’d make him cool and popular. Instead of having to be ‘that weird new kid,’ he could be ‘that cool new kid.’ It was just what he needed; only glee club wasn’t exactly as ‘cool’ as Finn described it to be. His first day was seemingly easy; the blonde haired girl from the courtyard was there. He’d learned in the short time, that her name was Quinn and she was Captain of the Cheerios, apparently last year was hard for her. He didn’t think much about it, trying to focus on the topic for that week. Duets, great, he’d eyed around the room hoping to make eye contact with her but she escaped before he got the chance to ask, it’d be silly asking her anyways. He’d just wait for someone to hopefully ask him. Kurt did, although they never got their duet.
What happened next, was what Sam defined as ‘love at first sight.’ It wasn’t exactly one of those romantic Hollywood moments where’ fate’ lays out a perfect romantic scene for two people to fall into or when the guy swoops in and saves a damsel in distress. It was… Embarrassing. Things at McKinley weren’t too bad, he’d made friends and was actually enjoying being in glee club. He was walking down the hallway when it happened, one second he was perfectly fine then the next he was drenched in a lovely slushie. He stood there for a moment, confused as to what just happened, and then he felt a tug on his sleeve, and suddenly he was being dragged into the girls bathroom. He didn’t even question it, just amazed by the gesture. Aside from being in glee club together, and her cheering for the football team he wasn’t even sure she knew he existed. He didn’t really know what to say to her, he just let her help him clean up the red mess. She was the one who broke the silence, saying something about a blueberry slushie and Avatar. They had a small conversation, all he could remember from it now was staring into her eyes… Those eyes… Even to this day, he’d look into those eyes and instantly melt. He’d looked into her eyes that day, and thankful only said ‘Lor Menari.’ Lor Menari indeed… From that moment on his heart seemed to beat faster whenever she was in the room, he’d search for her in the crowded hallways, a good day was a day when they’d share a small conversation in glee.
Things had come so far from that, two breaks ups later, and he still couldn’t get her off his mind. It was no shock that she was on his mind as he strolled down the hallway hair still damp and towel wrapped his neck from swim practice…. Yes Sam Evans was a member of the synchronized swim team. Why? Well, he missed the chance to join the football team this year, and he rather liked being active participant in sports… So why not? Finn didn’t seem to keen on the idea of him being on the synchronized swim team, glee and the swim team, maybe it was a death sentence but it’d get him active and back in that letterman jacket… Quinn always looked cute when she wore his jacket… Not that she was the reason for him joining the team.
It was almost as if the hockey team just randomly materialized in front of him, he knew what was coming but thankfully he had a moment to prepare himself closing his eyes as the cold ice hit his face. Really? The red flavor again? Did the slushie gods hate him? It was a strange hope, but he kind of wished that if he was ever met with a slushie again it’d be blue… for pure research… He stood in the hallway reaching a hand up to move the slushie from his eyes when he felt a familiar tug on his sleeve.
Mike randomly walked in. He was curious as to what his friends were up to. Laying on the table in the middle of Sam and Quinn. he got up and started dancing on it. “Babies….will you love me forever.” He frowned and paused for a moment thinking. “Wait…I meant to say five-ever. Let’s have a threesome now, okay?” He then grabbed both of their hands, smiling brightly with hope and desire.
Quinn stood from the table and was about to reply to Sam. But that’s when Mike came in. She was so awed by his dance that she got distracted and lost all train of thought. She had never seen a more graceful creature in her entire life. She cleared her throat trying to find the words. “Wow, Mike… that was amazing.” She squeezed his hand. “Of course we’ll have a threesome with you. Right Sam?” She asked batting her eyelashes at him.
Sam was going to answer Mike with a NO! but was afraid that Mike would run across da rode b4 da green man came on the sine. He breathed a sigh of relief when Mike corrected himself, with 5ever. ”Right!!” Sam said agreeing with Quinn unable to say no to Mike smiling face of hope and desire, saying no to him would be like saying no to a baby unicorn and that was just unethical.
Quinn shook her head and began laughing before covering her mouth. “Okay, I get it, it’s old people talk.” She flipped through the book again. It was a good thing she had already finished her essay a week in advanced, as soon as the project was designed. Over acheiver, go figure. “Juliet tried to send a messanger, you would know that if you would have read the book.” Her ten tapped against the paper a few times before she started chewing on it. Her eyes flicked to Sam’s paper before narrowing suspiciously. All she could do was smile and look up at Sam through her eyelashes. “What kind of tutor would I be if I didn’t help you pass this class.” Although she had to admit the thought of doing something else was all too tempting. She was waiting for a but statement in her head but nothing came. “How about we go out to lunch, but after that we’re writing this essay.” Her hand reached out and rested ontop of Sam’s. It felt like the natural thing to do, but almost immediatly she flinched away and tried to smile. She had to be his friend, he deserved that after all this time, he didn’t deserve her crazy.
He loved her laugh, he wasn’t sure how many times he must have told her that, probably every time she laughed, he refrained from it this time, trying to focus on school or whatever. “Okay, well if her messenger was a bird I bet it would have gotten the message there, birds aside from being kind of creepy are apparently smart.” Sam said shrugging, maybe he should just read the book at this point, his essay was clearly going nowhere. “What kind of tutor would you be?” He asked repeating her questions. “The best kind of tutor.” He said nodding with a grin on his face. He looked at her hand when she placed it on his, his heartbeat picking up slightly, when she took it away looked at the spot where she had just touched confused, but tried not to let it affect him too much as he closed his notebook. “That sounds like an awesome idea.” Food was always a good idea, anything to get away from school work, who wanted to focus on that during break? “Anywhere you want to go, I’ll pay.” He said hoping she didn’t take it as him asking her out, not that he wouldn’t mind asking her out, that’s just not what this was.
This shouldn’t be comfortable right? Quinn knew she probably wasn’t suppose to feel like this when she was around Sam. But it was too easy to fall back into the same routines. Too easy to keep falling for him again. She shook her head and tried to concentrate. “It’s Shakespeare Sam, he wrote in old english dialect.” She picked up the book from the middle of the table and flipped through it. Sure maybe she didn’t like the story but that didn’t change the fact that it was an assignment for school. “It’s true love because they were willing to go through all costs just to be together. The death was caused by a series of unfortunate events. I like to believe that is Romeo wasn’t so dumb he would have waited until she woke up so they wouldn’t have to die. But I guess when you’re in love you do crazy things.” She shrugged drawing on her paper again. “I feel like i’m not helping you at all. How about you write about how fate. It was fate that Romeo and Juliet met, it was fate that they died. Write about that.”
If he concentrated on the school work they were talking about it was to bad, just a little boring. He’d watch her as she talked, glancing at her and when he thought it was for to long he’d look down at the book, or his paper, which he was now absentmindly scribbling the letter Q on. “Old English dialect.” He repeated. “No, this isn’t English, I understand English it’s like… Old, Old, Old, Old, Old, people talk.” He could have continued adding old’s, but stopped for her sake figuring she got the point. “Yeah, but Juliet could have clued him in, sent him like a carrier pigeon or owl or whatever they used for mail and told him like.. ‘Hey I’m going to pretend to kill myself then we can runaway together.’ ” He said darkening the lines of his Q. “No, your helping.” He said as he stopped doodling, he hadn’t realized what’d he’d been scribbling but placed his hands down to cover it. “Or, how about I don’t write this essay, and we go do something else?” He asked her hopefully, anything to get out of writing this.
Quinn started to doodle on the corner of her paper. She looked up at him and smiled. “I want to be here Sam.” After all she did kind of owe him for being so patient with her, especially with all she did to him. “Do you want a different tutor? Because I assure you there is no one with better grades in Lima.” She said matter of factly.
Her eye brow raised at his explination, it was apperent that he hadn’t read the book. It was also apperent that he watched the modern version of the movie. She started to laugh softly under her breath. She put her hand over her mouth to cover up the laughs and pretended to cough. “Okay.. so that’s a great idea, if Romeo and Juliet had phones.” She shook her head and crossed out that idea. “It’s not supposed to be about Juliet dying, it’s about the tragedy of young love and star crossed lovers.” Quinn despised the book personally, she felt that it was morbid. But that’s because she enjoyed a happy ending when she rarely ever got one. “It’s a story about how true love, no matter how dark, will find a way to be.” She spewed the metaphorical crap she heard her sister talking about time and time again.
“I want you to be here.” He said biting on his bottom lip slight after he said it, he’d always want her there, even if they were just friends, and she was tutoring him. “No, with my luck I’d get matched with Finn’s creepy neighbor as my next tutor or something.” He said shuddering at the thought, Quinn was a perfect tutor, not that he was sure he’d get anything done, he’d rather just look at her as creepy as that sounded.
He raised her eyebrow as she laughed, clearly knowing he didn’t read the book. “It’s not funny.” He said looking mock offended. “I tried reading the book, who talks like that? No one, I need like a dictionary just to read this shit.” He said glaring at the book for a moment, as he listened her talk. “That’s stupid, how is that true love if you had to die to be together? That doesn’t make you together.. It just makes you dead.” He said confused, if this was a happy ending or not.
Quinn picked out her notebook out of her messenger bag and set it on the table before peering up at Sam through her eyelashes. She shook her head laughing a bit. “I’d love to help Sam, don’t worry about it.” She laughed again at his someone comment. As if she had anyone. He must have forgotten she went a little, okay more than a little crazy this year. It was surprising if she got a nod from a boy in the hallway. Most of the time she got boys staring at her like they were scared for their lives. She didn’t blame them, for a couple months she was bat shit crazy, doing anything to get Puck and Beth back. But then she realized she didn’t need any of that, she didn’t need anyone to complete her. But that didn’t stop her from wanting to be with someone, a certain someone that she knew she might never get back.
“I don’t have anything or anyone to do.” She clicked the pen a couple times before writing down Romeo and Juliet at the top of her paper and rested her head in her hand. “So Romeo and Juliet, what were some important themes that you want to write about?” It was hard not to reach across and hold his hand to encourage him, but she knew she couldn’t do that and that killed her.
“If you say so, it’s not to late for you back out.” He said with a grin on his face as he turned to a clear page in his notebook, the previous one had random scribbles and doodles on it. He dated it and wrote his name figuring that was a good place to start. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.” He said absentmindedly scribbling on the corner of the new page. “Just, if you have something better to do, I can always find someone else…” He said not looking at her as he continued to make circles on the page.
She asked him a question about the book, and he had to think for a while. He didn’t really make it all the way through, he opted for the movie instead. “Well, I don’t know. Juliet seems like kind of an idiot though.” He said reaching for the book he had earlier placed in front of him. “What if I wrote it on, Romeo and Juliet;; and the importance of cellphones with texting. Those phones they had.. I’m pretty sure you couldn’t text on those things, they were like the size of my head..” He said having clearly watched some of the more modern day movie, he couldn’t actually sit through the whole thing he figured the first ten and last ten minutes where good enough. “I mean who just goes and pretends to kill themselves without telling their boyfriend… ? I know I do some stupid things, but I would never pretend to die and not tell the person I was pretending to die for…” He said as if this was all logical. “She just seemed like a bit of an idiot, like Romeo would just know.”
Why am I spending my free time tutoring? That question could be easily answered with: she had no God damn clue. It was one of the coldest days in the history of Lima, Quinn wrapped a scarf around her neck guarding herself from the cold air. There was no use trying to dress up when she was probably going to meet some delinquent anyways. She got in the car, still not sure why she was even doing this. She could be curled up watching endless seasons of gossip girl. But instead she opted for the extra cash and drove towards the library with full intentions of getting in and getting out.
It had started snowing on the way to the library and a slight fear of getting snowed into the library struck Quinn. Of all things she had a fear of getting stuck with whatever kid she was about to tutor. She took a deep breath before entering. You’ve tutored plenty of times before Quinn. Let’s get this over with. She searched around looking for any student but only spotted one. “Oh crap.” She murmered underneath a small smile. Her heart sped up a bit with each step she took towards him. “So you’re the blonde i’m tutoring i’m assuming?” She asked with a laugh before peeling off her coat and putting it on the back of her chair. She unwrapped herself from the many layers of clothing she was forced to wear. “I had no idea you were struggling in school..” Her voice was alittle quieter noticing that most of the people around them were getting up and scowling at her.
If it wasn’t for the small flakes of snow scattered in her hair, Sam wouldn’t have known about the current change in the weather, now if anything he wished he was out fooling around in the snow, instead of trying to grasp the concept of Romeo and Juliet, it was pretty straight forward. They loved each other, can’t be together, they die. He couldn’t exactly write that for his essay, although he’d thought about it. “That’d be me.” He said referring to the blonde she was tutoring, although he was certain he was probably worse off now then he was before. “Yeah, well I guess switching schools does that to a person.” He said with a shrug, although he wasn’t exactly that he’d been kind of lazy returning to Lima, and English already wasn’t a strong subject for him, the whole dyslexic thing and all.
“You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.” Sam said trying not to make things awkward as he leaned on the back legs of his chair. “I mean, you probably have someone-thing better to do, or something.” He said realizing that by trying to make things not awkward he was just making them more awkward.